Wednesday

These Boots Were Made for Walking...Away

Photo Courtesy of Zoe Life Mag
"Bless the ones that walk away from you, 
they're just making room for the ones that won't." J. Johnson 


He or she was there and now they're gone. You consider it a loss, when you gained so much from the experience of having had them present, for however long. Either they chose to walk away or they knew their time in your life was up. They'd come and accomplished what they were purposed to do. Have you ever stopped to think about their leaving as a win? Instead of a loss? Do you realize nothing in life is arbitrary? Everything has a reason, a season and a due time, to come and to go. People and things show up in our lives when we need them. They are blessings when they arrive, but we want to curse them as they leave. Weren't you just blessed by their presence? Time spent? Memories created? Didn't they add value to your life? Help you in some way? Pose a solution to a problem? Well, it's safe to say, it's a win/win. Right?
We are all assigned angels that usually arrive out of nowhere, as they come to meet a need in our lives. You can probably relate to making the statement, "it's like they just came out of nowhere." Well, they kind of did, an answer to a prayer perhaps. We don't interpret it that way because the angel is in the form of a person. Every person who comes in your life to bless you, isn't meant to stay forever. They have to make room for other angels to come in and supply other needs as you grow. We miss it and the blessing when we take the focus off their purpose and try to hold on to the person too tightly.

Human nature has taught us that when the season or time ends, their departure has to carry with it a feeling of loss or negative emotion. However, their walking away from you means their time is up. You've been blessed, the problem has been solved and it's time to keep moving. Change is the only constant in our lives. Knowing this but not accepting it, we reject the natural progression of our relationships. We reject the opportunity to hold on to the lessons learned, the memories created and the great time shared. We choose to take our focus off the good and channel all our energy, in watching them walk away. Take the focus off the person. Focus instead on what was provided in the time shared. Was it laughter? Great food? A shoulder to cry on? An activity buddy? Love shared? Well those things provided, can never "leave" you, they are with you for as long as you need to hold on to them. These things are present with you, whether the physical person is or not.

Now there is a difference between those who choose to walk away and those whose time is up and are meant to move on. For those not purposed for our lives, it's easy and best for them to walk away from us. Their walking away is good and necessary because if you're not purposed or useful, you will be harmful instead. I've learned (the hard way) to allow my relationships to evolve naturally. I no longer try to control the outcome, which means the experiences are richer. I focus less on the person and more on what I gain from their presence. When the time comes for them to walk away or me perhaps, I send them off with blessings instead of curses. My life is richer for having had them present. I hold on to that treasure and look forward to having more treasure added to me as a result. Whether they choose to walk away or their task is complete, the time will come when they have to exit. There's no need to focus on them walking away. They're making room for what's to come. Look in the direction of what's to come! With this perspective we have more to celebrate and we don't ruin or forget the beauty of their having stopped by. We hold on to the lessons and the memories of them enriching our lives and loving us. It really is a win/win!

With Love & Gratitude,
~C. Nzingha