Wednesday

Communicating in Love: Be Open to Learn a New Language


Learning how to speak another language is difficult, but possible if one studies, has a desire and is willing to practice until they become fluent. The better you get at it, the more enjoyable it becomes. As you work at it, the language becomes more natural to you, until eventually you master it. It's impossible however, to learn any language if you're closed off to the process. The same is true in communicating love to your partner. The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman gave us the general categories of our love languages: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service. Everyone has a specific way in which they communicate in love. There is no one size fits all approach.

Hence it always puzzles me when I hear people justify their lack of openness with excuses like; "I am who I am", "I'm not going to change who I am", or "I love a certain way and it either works for you or it doesn't." Basically what you're really saying is: I'm afraid, lazy or uninterested.

You don't change or abandon your native language when you decide to study a new one. You use the new one to enhance your overall language skills. Same goes for communicating in love. Every relationship is unique. As are the people in them and as people change and evolve, the relationship will naturally need to change and evolve as well. When I was 10, I didn't mind you pulling my hair or socking me on the arm to show that you liked me. Now that I'm a woman, I'm going to need you to be able to express your interest/feelings in a way I can receive them and give you the response you want. 

Learning the basics only gets you so far though. In order to connect on another level and experience a turning point in your relationship, you will need to take it a step further. Pay attention. Ask questions. Be willing to try and fail until you get it right. Be unselfish, it's not a tit-for-tat. It needs to come from a genuine place of desire. You too will benefit from the happiness and joy you add to your partner's life. 

Do you know your partner's specific love language? The first step is being open to learning a new language. Anytime you acquire something, knowledge or tangible possessions, it adds value to you in some way. If you value your partner & want to explore love with them, it will benefit you to learn how they communicate in love. The benefits are plenty for all involved and enhances your love experience when you both are speaking the same language. We will get more in depth in the posts to come.

With Gratitude,

~C. Nzingha
"Right communication changes everything. Change your words, change your life."