In Real Life: Light Bulb Moment

The following is an excerpt from an email I wrote to my mom in LA.
Sometimes it takes asking others for input to find out you have to ultimately look within yourself for the answers to the questions only you know the truth about...we choose the information we share. So, the person giving feedback is limited in view. This was very insightful for me to write and re-read for myself...

"I can't keep doing the same thing expecting a different result. (the definition of insanity)

I've excuted that plan time & again and always end up back here.
Because I waste time spinning my wheels on a temporary fix.
It is very uncomfortable in the place of change and uncertainty.
I'm here though and doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Investing in myself and others and my writing career.
Going back delays my blessings.
Yesterday, I read in Genesis 25:34 how Esau gave up his birthright by letting hunger overwhelm his concern for things of lasting value.
I literally opened up my bible and that is the verse that jumped out at me.
I couldn't help but re-read it a couple of times and I don't know how much I've delayed myself already.
All of my needs are provided for and the rewards for my efforts are forthcoming.
Here is an oportunity for me to mature in my faith and not play God.
Struggle is not new, I've been surviving and will continue to do so.
But surviving is no longer enough. I want to live in abundance, overflow and fulfillment.
It's not about location anymore to be honest. It's about status.
When your status changes, it's due to increase of money and influence.
You can be everywhere and do the things you desire when you are at a certain level.
NO more limitations, but it means getting there.
Everywhere I've gone he's added to what I had even when I wasn't doing what I knew I should be.
The other lesson I'm learning is obdience outweighs sacrafice.
I've sacraficed a lot in the past, but now I look back w/ wisdom and realize I didn't have to give up so much.
If I would have been obedient. Some things he didn't instruct me to take care of.
It was a smart move to come down here in an environment of support and motivation.
I might be bored and not care for the city, but it challenges me to create the life I want.
I am not going to struggle anymore by choosing the temporary fix.
This time, I am going to invest my efforts in myself and my gifts and talents and stop sitting on my millions and chosing compromise.
I've got to PUSH through to get to the other side and to receive my blessings and birthright.
I didn't think I had a choice then, but now I know I do.
I choose the lasting value.
The other choice is a temporary good for a life of misery not operating in my purpose.
Love you."

A light bulb moment...