In Real Life: Translation Please

Random Starbucks conversation:

Strange Gentleman: "Are you as single as you look?" (how does one "look" single)
Cdot: Huh? The music is loud you need to speak up.
Strange Gent: "I talk low, I am a private person, I don't like for people to fall in love me on sight or by ear." (who are you hiding from?)
Strange Gentleman: "My name is Trooper".
Cdot: Is that your real name? (do you have a warrant?)
Strange Gent: "I will tell you the real one eventually."
Cdot: Oh (yup, either that or he def has a someone else)
SG: "You can do better than me, I am sure of it, but I had to try."
Cdot: *confused face* (I was thinking it, but you said it)
SG: "You can hook me up with one of your fat friends and hear about how great I am later on."
Cdot: WTH? *busting a gut* who says that? (no, for real, who says that?)
SG: "I am like the black Seinfield."
Cdot: Besides being extremely funny, what do you do? (don't play me, I like and watch that show)
SG: Whatever I want to.
Cdot: Interesting...(does that mean you're unemployed?)
SG: Take my number, I am not on FB, but you can email me.
Cdot: Ok (who the hell is this guy hiding from).
SG: We can get together and walk around the city and talk about people.
Cdot: Uhh, ok. (yeah, no not in real life, but I don't want you to make a scene)
SG: Hope you give me a call.

*small giggles* a day in the life...of a single girl in New York.
*Where oh where is he already, this ish is getting out of hand.*