Wednesday

OTC Relationship Chatter: Secret Admir-horr-er

The back door approach. Ugh! You know the guy...a co-worker or someone you might of grown up with that recently found you on FB, a fellow classmate or the like who befriends you in an attempt to take the back door to your heart. Ladies you know him, the nice guy who is there to hang out with, talk to and laugh with, no strings attached. Depending on how close you are with him, you might even discuss some of your real love woes, you know cause that's what friends do. All the while he is biding his time and waiting to ponce on you. What I want to know is where are the warning signs? Personally, I've been fortunate enough to have guy friends who I have platonic relationships with that haven't come out of the closet and boasted any romantic feelings. I could mention them by name, but will just say thank you for being rare, I appreciate it and love you dearly. On the other hand, I have had the occasional so called friendship go astray.

Remedy: Give a disclaimer at the beginning, letting them know you will delete them from your addy book and never talk to them again if they catch feelings and have the balls to pursue you. The drawback to this is they often see it as a challenge and it makes them even more prone to try their luck. I know right! You can't win for losing. SMH.

As for me, I don't want a manzie, if you are scared or don't know how to approach me, then it's probably best you don't. All I'm saying is be real. No need to befriend me in falsehood if you are secretly wanting to date me. It's a recipe for a major disaster. Guy friends, please know you are looked at and treated differently than a guy we are romantically interested in. You run the risk of serious frustration and feelings of confusion and disgust. The only exception I've found to this was my first love, who happened to be my best friend. Yeah, doubt if that happens twice in my lifetime. I'm just saying.