When we experience any type of pain from a physical injury our bodies automatically respond by noting the cause and as a reflex tell us how to respond to help us reduce further injury. The brain also stores this information so as to protect us from being injured in the same way again.
The same is true when dealing with matters of the heart and operating from a place of hurt and pain. It's only natural for us to put up defense mechanisms to keep our hearts protected from future hurt and pain once we've been brokenhearted. When we do enough of this self-protection and insulation of the heart it causes the opposite effect of what we actually desire, which is to attract love to us.
When we have walls up
to try to protect ourselves from being hurt in love, we are operating from a place of fear. Fear is a repellent. The offspring of fear; insecurity, jealousy, worry, and doubt are all repellents that create invisible force fields (unbeknownst to us many times) that keep people and love at a distance.
Rumi says that we don't need to seek out love at all. Instead we need to search within ourselves for the things that are blocking us from attracting the love we so desire. The good news: whatever blockades are in place, which were created to protect our love and our hearts, we can choose to destroy for love's sake. This is something we all have direct control over. Give yourself permission to blow up the wall. Allow new love to slam straight through the barriers you created and burn off all the residue of the hurt from past failed relationships.
We don't always have control over the circumstances in which love happens and with whom. The heart decides. However, we don't have to wear ourselves out stalking love either, and wondering why it's running in the other direction. We are magnets. Everything we want, we bring to us when we are in a position to receive it. Walls block your receptors and the signals your heart sends out to other hearts and this leaves you frustrated and alone.
We can't change past hurts, but we can release them. Instead of choosing to memorialize the pain with wall tombs commemorating the dead relationship, free yourself of your interior love blockades and let love flood your heart again. No one can do it but you. All you have to do knock down the blockades which opens yourself up to receive the love you desire. The love you seek will be able to draw near to you as soon as we're ready and as soon as you've cleared the way for it.
P.S. Isn't it nice to know there is no need to search for love after all? Phew!
With Love & Gratitude,
~C. Nzingha
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