One of the worse things we can do is lie to others and ourselves so much that we believe the lie as truth. Taking responsibility for your life is one of the hardest things in life to do. Owning up to your own mistakes is tough. It's difficult to resist the urge and familiar tendency to point the finger at someone else and blame them for your mistakes, wrong decisions and in turn the results of those decisions.
Acquiring wisdom is costly. I personally have had to pay a high price for it in time, money, tears, relationships and opportunities. I'm learning success is the result of consistently making good decisions. I've been in a very reflective state, going back tracing my steps to find out where I fell off in different areas, where I began to lie to myself. The people around me didn't question me or the lies, they played along and so as a result I believed the lie as truth. The consequences have been disastrous on so many different levels for me and for them. The good news...I'm aware now. Once you become aware there is a problem, you can begin to work to fix or correct it.
Being human, I began to beat up on myself a bit. Disappointed that I fell off and got off track, but more so at the results of not consistently making good decisions. The thing that's been most difficult for me is getting over the disappointment, so I can now begin to repair the damage. You could compare it to getting hit off guard. Sometimes it's not the impact of the hit that knocks you down, it's the surprise. It takes you a minute to recover and realize what just happened before you can react. This post will have to be continued as I am not sure how this will end just yet. I'm still working through it.
I encourage you and myself to quickly recover from the initial shock of getting hit with the harsh reality of the consequences of bad decisions. The faster you can recover, the easier and quicker you'll be able to begin to correct the behavior and put yourself on the right track. It's one thing when you didn't know what you were doing to cause yourself pain, it's another when you figure it out and still do it. Resist the urge to fall back into habit. Now that we know how BS smells we can remove the things creating the smell.
Praying my way through this one. I encourage you to do the same. Ouch. Open to here your thoughts.